Discipline

Bite My Tongue or Speak Up? When adults disagree over parenting

Parenting encompasses so much more than just an adult to child relationship. In fact, new parents are often taken by surprise by just how much this new relationship with their child impacts their other close relationships. Of course, this is most obvious in the co-parent relationship, but also (and this is what I want to focus on here) in all the relationships within what I’ll call your tribe—could be family, could be loved ones, but, essentially, think of it as all the people who are [...]

Saying “No” with Love

A recent feature in the New York Times about spas that cater to children made me sad. But not exactly for the reasons you’d expect. It was because of this quote, from a mom of one of the pint-sized spa-goers: “I don’t want them to feel that my saying ‘No’ means that I don’t love them.”  —New York Times, January 3, 2015 It’s sad that parental love has been hijacked by an underlying belief that our children cannot be disappointed or inconvenienced in order to feel loved. Sad that parents [...]

Do your children have parents or competitors?

Shiny, Happier People To describe the vast and varied role of the parent we turn to a whole list of occupations—doctor, police officer, counselor, game designer, bus driver and more—like jeweler. Yes, jeweler. Each child is a gem with multiple facets that reflect light. When Dad shines his light, it brings out a shine that is different than the light coming from Mom, who’s light brings out something different than grandpa’s or the teacher’s. We very likely see this in ourselves. Different friends bring out [...]